See the Lilies of the Field

I am kneeling in Church, the Priest humbly and reverently utters the words of Consecration over the bread and wine about to become Body and Blood.  I am enraptured.  My whole being hungers for the precious gift!  I ponder the words of the Priest, and contemplate the Eucharist.  My attention is drawn to a statue of the Blessed Virgin, near the altar-holding the infant Christ in her arms. Suddenly, the room goes dark, and I am no longer in Church, but a cave.  I am kneeling still.  Next to me is a woman, radiance is pouring from her.  I can feel her holiness, her love and goodness. Angels surround her, they sing canticles and hymns of praise for their unborn Lord. She turns to me.  Her face is alight with joy, and holy love.  She is beautiful.  She is my Mother. We are in Bethlehem- it is the night of the Birth of the Lord. "Be a Tabernacle for my Son," she says. "Mother, teach me how! I am a worm, unworthy!" At this she stands, and I can see her stomach bulging.

Though I cannot see you Mother, I feel your embrace, warm and loving, turning me towards your Son. Showing me the Way. Leading me by the hand as mothers often do. I love you so much Mother Mary. So many times I have called out for you in the night, and you were there, you are always there to lead me back to Him. O Sweet Rose! O Holy Tabernacle! O Full of Grace!  How grateful I am for you! How many times have you pulled me from the snares of the devil? Oh, Mother! My heart is overflowing with love for you and your Son.  Such gratitude I feel for you Mystical Rose! Queen of Heaven and Earth! Mother of the Word Incarnate! Mother of Sorrows! I cannot wait to re-consecrate myself to you!  My heart leaps in anticipation of the day that I can reaffirm my slavery to you and your Son! How sweet a servanthood it is, full of love and beauty! Oh Mother, I love you,  pray for me a miserable sinner !

If I could have it my way, I'd be going to a Catholic School right now. Better yet, I would be homeschooled so I could go to daily Mass. If I could have it my way, I would spend my time deep in prayer instead of in textbooks. I would always hang out with the friends that encourage me in my faith, rather than have to be around the ones who pull me down. I wouldn't have to sit there while my Faith, morals and beliefs are mocked.  I wouldn't have to constantly witness the offenses and blasphemies against my Lord. But... If you really want to love Jesus, first learn to suffer, because suffering teaches you to love. St. Gemma Galgani It is loving the Cross that one finds one heart, for Divine Love cannot live without suffering. St. Bernadette Would that men might come at last to see that it is quite impossible to reach the thicket of the riches and wisdom of God except by first entering the thicket of much suffering, in such a way that the soul finds there its c

No words can describe Him.  No praise is enough.  He, Himself is more than we can fathom.  His love, stronger than we will ever know.  We could not even look upon Him without succumbing to His awe-some Presence. We are nothing. We deserve nothing.  We turn away from Him daily. We make mistakes. We do wrong.  We implore His ever-present overwhelming Mercy. Nothing we do- should- satisfy Him...but it does.  The aspect of G-d that mystifies me the most, the part that I cannot grasp, or comprehend; is that He delights in me, as I am .  He loves me now! Not when I mend my ways, and become a hermit in the desert abstaining from everything except locusts. Now at this moment! ME! ME! A sinner, lower than dirt, undeserving of even the smallest of consolations! He loves me! He always has loved me, and always will love me! With a Love greater than I will ever be able to comprehend. This is the most unfathomable aspect of G-d. "In that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

I wake up, rub my eyes, and halfheartedly push the covers off. I get out of bed and kneel on the cool hardwood. "Thank You Lord for my life, for letting me wake up this morning. For, should I have come to You in the night I would have been cast out. Thank You Lord for the opportunity to live another day for You. Take my thoughts, actions, and feelings, and turn them all towards You." This is the prayer I pray every morning. I get up and dress, reciting prayers by memory. I am barely awake enough to process what day it is. Just barely. Today is the day of Final Profession!! My heart skips a beat. My Jesus, My Beloved! Today, our engagement comes to an end. Our True Marriage begins! Oh Joyous day! The morning is a blur, family arrives, final preparations made. Sisters hastily fixing last minute details. Black capes are put on and we are preparing to process into the Sanctuary. Mass begins. All I can think about is I am about to receive Christ in the Eucharist

   Okay, so I've been trying to keep an open mind about my future vocation.  Not like I wasn't before, but I was really putting some effort into it this time. I know I'm still pretty young but, Mary was betrothed at 13 you know.    I asked God to show me, then it got a bit confusing, so I prayed that He might show me more clearly what His will was... Well He did. And He did it with some flare too!  It felt like He was ripping a band-aid off. *Sigh*  Its funny though, when I think about it. I was telling a good friend in the car the other day, I meet a guy and its like, "Well, hello there!" And a few weeks later, "Well, goodbye then."    I don't know what He wants for my future, I can only live for right now.    And so I shall. I'll persevere, hey its not like I was planning on dating before college anyways.  I wanted to wait until the maturity level on both ends was a little higher. Plus, none of the guys in my school (well there's one I

Well, its 4 am on a Monday morning.  Doesn't look like I'll be going to sleep any time soon, so I decided to write...blog...whatever you want to call it.  Anyways, I've been thinking a lot lately about my future, about discernment.  Its really strange how one day you can know exactly what you wanna do, where you wanna go, what/who you wanna be...and the next day you can't even decide what color shirt to wear.  I used to know, I mean like know know that I was going to be a religious. I was going to finish school, enter with an active/contemplative convent, and live happily ever after. Then, one heartfelt sincere prayer later, I don't know anymore.  I'll be frank, I feel like God is giving me mixed signals. I mean don't get me wrong, its not like my memory is gone or anything, but its weird surrendering. Like, really letting go of what may or may not be.  Especially when society today has to know every detail of everything that will happen in your life ever.

A very short story that I had the notion of making randomly...Enjoy! :)  Lying awake in my bed, its past midnight. Though my windows are open, and a rare cool breeze floats in, I cannot get comfortable.  Something is clawing at my mind. Though my body pines for sleep- my soul is wide awake.  Inside of me there is a cry, a longing, a plea.  It confuses me.  My heart and soul are aflame with a desire my mind cannot comprehend.  Then, a whisper reaches through the darkness… “Lover,” it says, “I am here.”   And suddenly I know.  I know what, I know Who.  My heart bursts with exultation, my soul is soaring, my mind understands now!  In a second I am on my knees, and suddenly, with just a change of thought, I am immersed in an unrequited loving embrace!  Here is my Lord, my Love, here is my desire! After a few moments of ecstasy and prayer, I find myself more at peace than I had ever been before.    I drifted then, to sleep with a full heart, and a content soul…my last thoughts li

   Hello again! Its been a looong time since I last posted and I apologize.  There's just been so much going on, its been crazy! Family coming down, finals, graduations, my Confirmation, birthdays, and Steubenville Conferences. I thought summer was supposed to be relaxing? Anywho, like I mentioned before I went to my 3rd Steubenville Conference, at Franciscan University in Steubenville Ohio.  It was my third time and I wasn't expecting anything big to happen, no huge emotional moments like last year, no revelations. But I did encounter God there, in a new and unique way.  And I think that's what I like the most about the conferences.  Each year is unlike the next, maybe in the way they're setup they're the same, but each time the way I encounter God is different. The first year, I was shown how amazing and fun my faith is.  The second, I learned about God's love, and I decided at that moment to live for Him.  This year,  I came to Him with a plea, a prayer.  You

 “...Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" Luke 1:42-43 Our Savior comes to us everyday in the Eucharist, through this we become like Mary,a tabernacle.  We have Christ within us! Her Magnificat should be the song of our souls. We should echo her words every second of every day, "My soul doth magnify the Lord And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..."  This is our GOD! Like Mary, we should be filled wonder and awe, we should be filled with His joy and love because He has saved us, lifted us up from the dirt from which we came and has given us the ability to join Him forever in paradise! Like Elizabeth we should be filled with humility and adoration? "How does this happen to me?" That our Lord and  His Mother should come to us? Take this to heart friends, Mary is the perfect way to get to Jesus, she is the perfect model to follow. She is the link

Prayer. Prayer is amazing. It is the greatest gift that the Lord has given us (other than the Sacraments which- by the way- all come from the Mass, which is a prayer in and of itself).  It is direct communication with Him! How amazing, and wonderful is that!? We can talk to God , and He can talk to us! Prayer gives us a TON of graces. It helps us in our walk towards Christ and Heaven. "Prayer reveals to souls the vanity of earthly goods and pleasures. It fills them with light, strength and consolation; and gives them a foretaste of the calm bliss of our heavenly home." -St. Rose of Viterbo "Virtues are formed by prayer. Prayer preserves temperance. Prayer suppresses anger. Prayer prevents emotions of pride and envy. Prayer draws into the soul the Holy Spirit, and raises man to Heaven." -St. Ephraem Recently my prayer life has faltered. I became immersed in my school life with tests, extended essays, AP exams etc... Sure, I would say a Hail Mary, Glory Be, Ou

   Hello All!    Well, it has been awhile hasn't it?  I apologize for not posting I just got caught up with life.  So much has happened. I've been able to talk with some great, holy people, and have some great moments with God.  Today though, I want to talk about love.    Love. A word we often misuse. A word that gets lost in translation.  Do we really know what it means? I could give you a dictionary definition, but we as Catholics, as Christians, as followers of Christ, have that definition written on our hearts, our souls. Often times He is hanging around our necks, on our walls, in our churches, in the Tabernacle.  The definition of love, is Jesus Christ.  He is our perfect model when it comes to Love.  He gave His life for damnable sinners, the very same who put Him up there on that cross. He even  forgave  them, forgave us .  If thats not love, what the heck is?    We are called to live that very same love. It is daunting, grueling, hard, unyielding and downright pa

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Amen WE HAVE A POPE!!!! How amazing and wonderful is that! God has given us a leader, a protector, a shepherd! And what a wonderful one he will be, I feel it!  I feel so thankful that the Lord would bless us with such a man!  He seems just the right guy for the job. O Lord, we are the millions of believers, humbly kneeling at Your feet and begging You to preserve, defend and save the Sovereign Pontiff  for many years. He is the Father of the great fellowship of souls and our Father as well.  On this day, as on every other day, He is praying for us also and is offering unto You with holy fervor the sacred Victim of love and peace. O Lord, turn Yourself toward us with eyes of pity, for we are now, as it were, forgetful of ourselves and are praying above all for Him. Unite our prayers with His and receive them into the bosom of Your infinite mercy, as a sweet savor of active and fruitful charity, whereby

I believe in God, the Father almighty,  Creator of heaven and earth , and   in Jesus Christ,   his only Son, our Lord,  who   was conceived by  the Holy Spirit,  born of the Virgin Mary,  suffered under Pontius Pilate,  was crucified, died and was buried ;  he descended   into hell;  on the third day he rose again  from the dead;  he ascended into heaven,  and is seated at the right hand  of   God   the Father   almighty;  from there   he will come to judge  the living and the dead.  I believe in the Holy Spirit,  the holy catholic Church,  the communion of saints,  the forgiveness of sins,  the resurrection of the body,  and life everlasting.     Amen.    Are you amazed? Are you truly amazed at the wonder and glory of Christ?  Are you truly amazed at the love of Christ?  Are you? I think this is something we take for granted a lot. The majesty of the Lord. What makes Him so majestic, so glorious? His Love! His love for us, for humanity. His passionate, pursuing, neve

O God, eternal shepherd, who govern your flock with unfailing care, grant in your boundless fatherly love a pastor for your Church who will please you by his holiness and to us show watchful care. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. (I meant to post this on the 28th but blog-spot wouldn't let me so it's a bit late) I'm a bit down today. The chair of St. Peter is once again empty.  It feels like he's been Pope forever, but in reality its only been 8 years.  Yet, in that time, he's done so much! Here's two video's on his papacy. We will miss you Papa. We will pray for you and for a new Pope who will continue to guide us towards Christ.

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess, Thou hast given me: I surrender it all to Thee to be disposed of according to Thy will. Give me only Thy love and Thy grace; with these I will be rich enough and will desire nothing more. Amen. I am so excited! I have begun my consecration to the Lord through Mary! The consecration is a wonderful practice, by St. Louis de Monfort and it's all about surrendering your all to Jesus, and doing so through His Mother.  It is especially wonderful because of this fact. St. Louis said, "True Devotion to Mary is nothing more than the perfect and certain and shortest way to live our baptismal vows."   St. Louis de Montfort tells us that "those who desire to take up this special devotion should spend at least 12 days in emptying themselves of the spirit of the world, which is opposed to the spirit of Jesus. They should spend 3 weeks imbuing

Create in me a clean heart, O God. And renew a steadfast Spirit within me. Amen. First off, I want to apologize for not posting anything for a while, life has kept me quite busy. Today, I wanted to talk about Lent.  I love Lent. I feel as if I can brush aside everything I've done in the past and start over. I can begin again. Does anyone else feel that way?   For me, the transition from winter to spring symbolizes moving from old to new, sinner to saint. Lent is a time of penance and forgiveness. A time for saying, I'm sorry. A time for saying, what can I do to make things right?  Lent is a time to do whatever needs to be done to grow closer to Him. Plus, you have a legitimate excuse! Are you giving up some bad friendships?  If they ask you about it just say its a Lenten thing.  Lent is so magnificent because it offers us a second chance! Jesus is reaching out saying, "Here I am, come back to Me!"  The fasting, prayer, alms-giving, sacrifice, is all n

Eternal, Holy God, I come to you burdened with worries, fears, doubts, and troubles. Calm and quiet me with peace of mind. Empty me of the anxiety that disturbs me, of the concerns that weary my spirit, and weigh heavy on my heart. Loosen my grip on the disappointments and grievances I hold on to so tightly. Release me from the pain of past hurts, of present anger and tension, of future fears. Sometimes it's too much for me Lord, too many demands and problems, too much sadness, suffering, and stress. Renew me spiritually and emotionally. Give me new strength, hope, and confidence. Prepare me to meet the constant struggles of daily life with a deeper faith and trust in You. Let your love set me free, for peace, for joy, for grace, for life, for others, forever. Amen   This weekend I went on a retreat. It was an amazing, awe-inspiring experience.  I loved every second of it. When I come back from retreats, yeah I have that retreat high. The "Jesus High". But it also

Speak,  Lord Jesus ; I will listen. You do not come to my soul without speaking to me in some way. Please make your presence known in the heart and mind of faith.  I will be quiet, and let my desires and worries rest, in order to hear you. In silence, I will learn to know your  intimate will  in my regard. Amen.    God speaks to us. He whispers to us, talks to us, yells at us.                                                                Most times, to get humans to listen, He has to take out His Divine 2x4 and hit us over the head. The Lord will talk to us everyday at every moment if we let Him.  He will never stop trying to have a conversation with us.  He wants to tell us things, He wants us to know Him. But we are a blind and deaf people.  We sit for five minutes asking God to talk to us and when we don't hear anything right away, we stop listening.  We think that He doesn't care, or we haven't got an answer. There are only a few people in the Bible that I can th