Blinded
Hello again! Its been a looong time since I last posted and I apologize. There's just been so much going on, its been crazy! Family coming down, finals, graduations, my Confirmation, birthdays, and Steubenville Conferences. I thought summer was supposed to be relaxing? Anywho, like I mentioned before I went to my 3rd Steubenville Conference, at Franciscan University in Steubenville Ohio. It was my third time and I wasn't expecting anything big to happen, no huge emotional moments like last year, no revelations. But I did encounter God there, in a new and unique way. And I think that's what I like the most about the conferences. Each year is unlike the next, maybe in the way they're setup they're the same, but each time the way I encounter God is different. The first year, I was shown how amazing and fun my faith is. The second, I learned about God's love, and I decided at that moment to live for Him. This year, I came to Him with a plea, a prayer. You see, my problem was that I was living in the future. I was so focused on what I could be later, that I didn't care about who I was at that moment. I asked Him to show me how to live in the present, to live my vocation now, rather than focusing on what it could be in the future. He answered me.
Through prayer, and spiritual guidance, I find myself being able to live for the day to day. I am living my life for Him now, instead of waiting till later. But its not so easy. Its not easy not knowing whats next. Its not easy saying," Your Will be done." That, is the most dangerous prayer to pray, but its also the most liberating. I don't have to worry! I don't have to stress, its all in His hands on His time...His time. Its a struggle to be on His time instead of mine, to do what He wants instead of what I want. Its hard, but I've found someone who has helped me immensely. She has given me such guidance and inspiration, she's changed the way I view the word sacrifice. Her name, is Mother Teresa. She said,"I will continually be absent from Heaven – to lit the light of those in darkness on earth.” She has held true to that promise.
I find her spirituality so amazing, yet, so simple. I received a book about her as a birthday present and its helped me so much. One of my favorite quotes of hers is,"We are at Jesus’ disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, “I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.” And this is our strength. This is the joy of the Lord." I have been blinded towards what the future holds for me, but that's alright because Jesus doesn't want me then, He wants me now.
Through prayer, and spiritual guidance, I find myself being able to live for the day to day. I am living my life for Him now, instead of waiting till later. But its not so easy. Its not easy not knowing whats next. Its not easy saying," Your Will be done." That, is the most dangerous prayer to pray, but its also the most liberating. I don't have to worry! I don't have to stress, its all in His hands on His time...His time. Its a struggle to be on His time instead of mine, to do what He wants instead of what I want. Its hard, but I've found someone who has helped me immensely. She has given me such guidance and inspiration, she's changed the way I view the word sacrifice. Her name, is Mother Teresa. She said,"I will continually be absent from Heaven – to lit the light of those in darkness on earth.” She has held true to that promise.
I find her spirituality so amazing, yet, so simple. I received a book about her as a birthday present and its helped me so much. One of my favorite quotes of hers is,"We are at Jesus’ disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that’s all right, everything is all right. We must say, “I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.” And this is our strength. This is the joy of the Lord." I have been blinded towards what the future holds for me, but that's alright because Jesus doesn't want me then, He wants me now.
The future is not in our hands. We have no power over it. We can act only today. We have a sentence in our Constitution that says: ‘We will allow the good God to make plans for the future – for yesterday has gone, tomorrow has not yet come and we have only today to make Him known, loved and served.’ So we do not worry about the future.
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