What Could Stand Against?


Eternal, Holy God,
I come to you burdened with worries,
fears, doubts, and troubles.Calm and quiet me with peace of mind.Empty me of the anxiety that disturbs me,of the concerns that weary my spirit,and weigh heavy on my heart.Loosen my grip on the disappointments and grievances
I hold on to so tightly.Release me from the pain of past hurts,of present anger and tension, of future fears.Sometimes it's too much for me Lord,too many demands and problems,too much sadness, suffering, and stress.Renew me spiritually and emotionally.Give me new strength, hope, and confidence.Prepare me to meet the constant struggles of daily life
with a deeper faith and trust in You.Let your love set me free, for peace,for joy, for grace, for life, for others, forever.
Amen 
This weekend I went on a retreat. It was an amazing, awe-inspiring experience.  I loved every second of it. When I come back from retreats, yeah I have that retreat high. The "Jesus High". But it also comes with a mix of emotions. Normally its because what I experienced was literally life changing. Not in a super huge, "I have decided to become a hermit and live on the Eucharist alone" type change ( I think I'll leave that to Blessed Waldo) but a change in my daily life, a change that not only affects me but the people I am around.

I like retreats, I love what they do for me. I dislike having to readjust. I dislike having to go home and be the only one in the family who experienced it. A barrage of emotions pummels me as soon as I leave the retreat. Mainly fear. Fear of falling back into the place where I was. But, that fear is not of me, its not of God, its of Satan. The devil will hit us from every angle. He will try everything to discourage us.  
And sometimes it works. If I we let it, if we let him. I did today, this evening. I was close to tears the entire afternoon from fear. At the retreat I had no problem. My heart was clean and free. My soul was singing praises to the Lord. But as soon as I walked out and let myself become vulnerable, BAM! Satan hit me head on. Even going to mass still didn't help right away. I came home and cried. I bawled. 
Then, something amazing happened. I prayed with all my heart. I cried out from my vulnerability. I asked Him with all my being to come into my soul and take over again. And he did. Why should I be afraid with the Lord God of Hosts by my side. If the God of the Universe is for me, what in all of creation could stand against? How dare I? How dare I limit the Lord's power? I feared He wouldn't hold me up. I feared He would leave me alone in my sorrows and struggles. How dare I? Jesus Christ pursues me. He wants a relationship with me.  How stupid of me to think that the God who formed me just to have a relationship with me, would leave me. How stupid of me to fear anything with a God like that by my side.  

My friends please pray that God will continue to show Himself to me. I will pray the same for you.



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