See the Lilies of the Field

  If I have learned anything recently, I have learned what love looks like through the actions of my friends.   If I could sum up the past two weeks in a word...well I probably shouldn't use that specific word... let's go with a more family friendly option: bonkers.  I got back to college after Thanksgiving feeling bad.  I had been having back pain for a few weeks and it hadn't gone away.  At first I thought it was muscle pain, but for the amount of time it lasted and the amount of pain and how deep it felt, I thought it might be something more.  I went to the Wellness Center the morning I got back and they thought it might be a UTI.  A few days later, the pain got really bad.  It was excruciating.  Something else was going on.  In the past week I have been to the ER twice.  They're thinking kidney stones. Last Thursday morning I woke up and couldn't move.  Between gasps of pain and tears I texted a close friend to come help....

Am I really in college? Is this reality? I catch myself asking these questions a lot.  It still seems unreal to me at times.  I've dreamed about these days and now I am literally living those dreams.  I find that incredible to think about!   College has been even more amazing than I thought it would be.  Immediately, I felt at home and God has blessed me with some amazing friends who uplift me and keep me accountable with my faith. The prospect of spending the next four years plus with these people makes me smile and shake my head simultaneously.  I can't imagine the types of shenanigans we'll get into.  Since I've been here (its been about 3 months now), I've been able to join the student led choir, the ballroom/swing dancing club (which is an insane amount of fun), and various other different clubs/activities.  Some of my favorite places to be on campus, besides the coffee shop, are the Marian grotto and the adoration chapel. My roommate a...

     Well, hello there people of the internet.  Its been a long time.  I know, I'm sorry. Its just been crazy lately.  The entirety of April and May were reviewing, studying and exams.  Sooooo many exams.  Around 15 of them actually.  But good news, I got the IB diploma! Not that it really means much now, but its nice to know I got it. And then June was graduation and my birthday, in that order.  One was the day after the other. 18! My parents can legally kick me out now.  My bro got confirmed, my sister is off to high school, I've been up and around VA and PA visiting family and... what else? Oh yeah, COLLEGE. What? I know. Its crazy. I've only dreamed about this moment for the past four years of my life-thank you, public school system...  Suffice to say, thinking about college is what kept me going through my high school years. That and a whole lot of Jesus.  And coffee. Yes, I am FINALLY done with high school.  No...

There are things I never thought I would go through, things I never thought I would experience, people I never thought I would lose from my life. But one can never know the future can they? Over the past month or so I have experienced a few losses. I've lost friends. But they weren't just friends to me, they felt like family.  The way our relationship was, I thought we would be friends forever. I believed our friendship was rooted and growing deeper and stronger all the time. I guess that was not God's plan. A keen loss. I feel it everyday.  These people were sisters to me and now we are strangers.  Its weird and unnatural.  We told each other everything.  Everything.  I went to them in my frustrations and they came to me in theirs. We were always asking each other for prayers. I sit sometimes and am so confused.  What happened? One day we were so close and the next it felt like our friendship had been severed with a knife. No explanation,  ...

Oh goodness. Its August.  I can't believe it's already August!  A few weeks ago I got my Senior pictures taken, and when I saw them it hit me. I thought, "Dang." Because it dawned on me all of the stuff I'm going to have to get done this year. School hasn't even started, and I am stressed out.  I'm searching far and wide for any and every scholarship, I feel like I'm swimming in summer assignments.  I'm studying for the SAT- again so that I can get a better score so that I can apply for more scholarships... I'm looking for a way to make money that won't take time away from my extracurricular activities- which will make me more well-rounded so I am more attractive to colleges...but I need the money from the job to help pay for college.  Oh and grades, once school starts I need to keep me GPA up- also for college... *Sigh* So anyways that's what has been going on lately. Its kinda scary you know? This year is going to be very differe...

I walk into the Sanctuary, immediately I turn towards the tabernacle and kneel. I bless myself with Holy Water and proceed to the pew. Again I kneel and bury my head in my arms. "Help me remember Lord" I pray this prayer over and over. I am able to talk aloud to my Savior as I await my turn in the confessional. I feel contrition. Sorrow. Guilt. I look upon my Lord hanging on the Crucifix.  I meditate, mentally writing down each one of my sins. The confessional door opens. I take a deep breath, my heart is full of hope and joy. You see- I do not fear the Sacrament of Confession, I run to it! I embrace it! It is one of the most wonderful gifts I have ever been given. I am able to cleanse my heart and my soul! I am able to become a new person! I give my sins to Christ and He wipes them away. I enter the confessional, ask for Father's blessing and pour out my offenses to the Lord. I make my act of contrition, "O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offende...

Hey y'all, I'm back! Sorry about that little break there. I have been so busy lately its been crazy! Lots has been happening so a few updates before I continue: -Vocation...lots of prayer. Lots of thinking. I have seen so many people give such great witnesses to their vocation and what God has called them to do. It has been a great support to me just to be able to talk with them. (More on this in a bit) -College...still looking around. I love Franciscan University of Stuebenville,  Ohio and Christendom College of Front Royal,  VA but I need to figure out a way to support myself financially because these schools aren't cheap, but their academics and faithfulness to the Church more than make up for price. -Spiritual Life...growing :) lately, especially since the canonization, I've felt a very close connection with Saint John Paul 2. Why? I am not sure, but I have always had a special place in my heart for this Pope. He is my spiritual Papa, and I ask for his intercess...